Royal Throne turns your most underrated daily ritual into an actual game. Track sessions, unlock achievements, climb ranks, find a poop buddy, and compete in leagues.
(Yes, this is a real app. Yes, it's completely free. No, we're not joking.)
Android only (for now). The developer is too broke for Apple's $99/year Developer Program. If you have an iPhone, you can either help fund the iOS launch, switch to Android, or just stare at this website and feel left out. Your call.
You track your sleep. You track your steps. You track your calories.
But the one thing you do every single day goes completely untracked.
Until now. Royal Throne tracks the activity nobody else will talk about — and makes it weirdly fun.
We may have gone slightly overboard. You're welcome.
One tap to start, one tap to stop. Rate your experience 1-5 stars (yes, like a restaurant review), add private notes, and build a history of your greatest performances.
Your toilet has a rating system now.
Get matched with a real human who's pooping at the exact same time as you. Chat in real-time. Share the moment. Because nobody should poop alone in 2026.
You have to try this to believe it.
Create private leagues with your friends. Custom names, emojis, join codes. See who's the most consistent, who has the longest streaks, who deserves the crown.
Turn your friend group into competitors.
Earn XP for every session. Rank up from "Toilet Trainee" all the way to "Porcelain Emperor." Unlock exclusive avatars, titles, and bragging rights along the way.
What rank are you? There's only one way to find out.
No, seriously. Our ML engine analyzes your patterns and sends you a notification 10 minutes before nature calls. It's creepy accurate. The future is sitting on a toilet.
This alone is worth the download.
Weekly recaps, streak tracking, averages, peak hours, session ratings over time. You'll learn things about yourself you never expected to know.
Bet you can't guess your average session length.
Everyone who downloads it says the same thing:
"I thought it was a joke...
then I couldn't stop using it."
There's something oddly satisfying about tracking this. We can't explain it. You'll just have to see for yourself.
Let's address the elephant in the bathroom.
This entire app was built by one developer from Pakistan with a $0 budget and a dream about poop tracking.
Real talk — the developer can't even afford to put this on the Play Store. $25 feels like $25,000 right now. Your support could get this app into millions of bathrooms... or at least fund his lunch. If Royal Throne has ever made your bathroom trip better, show some love.
You've read this far. You're curious. That little voice in your head is saying "this is ridiculous... but I kinda want to try it."
Listen to that voice.
Free. No sign-up. No data collected. You can delete it if you hate it. (You won't.)
Android only. iPhone users — blame Apple's $99/year developer fee and the developer's empty bank account.